*DISCLAIMER: This post is sharing what works for our kids based on our beliefs about behavior and behavior modification techniques in the school setting. This post in no way implies that this is “the” way to address behavior in school nor to say that other methods don’t successfully work for other people’s children. This is simply what we do that has been proven to be successful in the school environment for our children.*
It was(and still is) very important to us to have a good behavior reporting system in place for our boys at school. Each of our boys have something a little different based on their needs, so I wanted to share them all in one place.
First, let’s talk about Grifyn and Kullen’s behavior system that is used in the general education setting. These behavior charts are included in their IEPs, so they are required to be completed daily:
Behavior is a choice. You can not make anyone else behave.
I am a big believer that in order for any behavior program to be successful,
it must put the responsibility on the child. If the child is not an active participant in the behavior plan, then the child is not invested in what’s going on and likely won’t respond and make appropriate progress. The purpose of any behavior plan should be to teach the child to make good choices. Due to this,
Kullen and Grifyn complete their behavior sheets themselves. They are accountable for their behavior and they are accountable for recording that behavior on their daily behavior sheets.
We also believe that any system that we use should be
easy to use and
have the ability to be completed quickly. We didn’t want something that was hard to understand or required detailed instructions for any random person to pick up and implement (think: substitute teacher, therapist that only comes to the school once a week, etc).
For our boys (and our personal preferences as parents), we don’t do a reward type system (like stickers or prizes for good behavior). We believe that there are natural rewards for good behavior (having friends that want to play with you because you can play appropriately, learning to do the tasks other kids are doing because you are listening, etc)…..and in the real world, no one gives you a sticker for acting appropriately in Wal-Mart. Also, we wanted to ensure that what is done at school closely models what we do at home. We don’t have a good behavior treasure box or sticker system at home, so we don’t want the school teaching our boys that they behave so that they can get a toy/sticker.
Kullen and Grifyn’s behavioral needs are different and their schedules are different too. However, the basic idea is the same. Each aspect of their day (subject or therapy, etc) is listed.
The child colors in either a red sad face or a green smiley face for that portion of the day. The chart is colored
immediately following that portion of the day. We do NOT do an all day long type behavior system (like the kindergarten red light system, move your clip, etc). Why? because our boys don’t transfer that what they did in math effects what happens in reading. Also, they need the opportunity to constantly make GOOD choices (ie: I was bad in math, but I can be good in reading) so that the entire day is not ruined by one bad choice. Another reason for this is that
it allows us (the grown-ups) to more accurately track behaviors, to determine is there is a problem area (like PE) or a time of day that’s harder (like more bad behavior after lunch). Finally, it allows for the carry-over to home. Mom and Dad can talk through what happened at school because we have specifics (you did not follow directions during math class, as opposed to just a daily sad face or whatever). This is important with our boys because they are still struggling with answering questions and conversational skills like being able to accurately communicate what happened at school.
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KULLEN:
Kullen does not have very many behavioral concerns at school. He likes being a part of the class and being able to do what all the other children are doing. He doesn’t like to miss out on anything and this natural reward/consequence for behavior is the greatest motivator for Kullen. His biggest issue is non-compliance. The problem is that once he decides to be non-compliant, it goes down hill quickly. He MUST know that mom and dad are going to know if he misbehaves. On the flip side of that, Kullen responds VERY WELL to praise for good behavior and good choices. So, his daily behavior chart serves not only as a reminder that mom and dad will find out if he chooses to make bad choices, but that he can show us…each and every day….that he’s made GOOD choices at school.
Kullen’s chart has not only his daily schedule, but is also broken down into 3 specific behavior areas. These are the areas that Kullen struggle with, so the reminders are right there on his behavior chart for him. Since he completes the chart himself after each transition, it also allows him to determine if he made a good choice or a bad choice in specific areas (“Did you follow directions?, etc)
Kullen’s chart does also include a straight face, which we do NOT use with Grifyn. Kullen is able to handle this because he has a better understanding of behaviors and better communication skills than Grifyn. He’s also not nearly as impulsive. Kullen is also more intrinsically motivated and sometimes, he needs an obvious warning (like a straight face) to help remind him that it’s important to make GOOD choices about his behavior. He has much better higher order thinking skills too. Basically, he understands a system like this (and this would NOT work with Grifyn).
This chart also has room for his teacher or aide to write in specific activities that Kullen did during reading and math and what special activity he did that day (speech, resource room, PE, etc). The comment section is used to briefly describe what caused a red face or to communicate something GREAT Kullen did that day. Thankfully, we get many more GOOD comments on these sheets than bad ones.
Kullen rarely has anything other than an “all green day”. As I mentioned above, he responds well to praise, so he enjoys bringing me his behavior sheet to sign each day and to be able to say “green day, Mommy!”. Kullen is also very clear on what the consequences are for red too and that certainly helps when he has to be reminded at school that his choices dictate the color that he uses to complete his chart!
He has been known to ask his aide to "erase" a red face or a comment on his sheet where we were told something that he did that was not a good behavioral choice.
*********************************************************************************GRIFYN:
Grifyn is a whole different story. If you’ve read this blog for long, you know that I call Grifyn our wild man. He is silly and impulsive. Though he knows that there are consequences for bad choices, when he’s in the moment, he often forgets until it’s too late. He’s VERY social. This means that his tendency is to try to be the class clown. He requires a lot of structure and adults around him that are consistent and firm. He DOES understand the rules and expectations. He CAN (and usually does) make good choices and demonstrate appropriate behavior. But, he is a
give him an inch and he’ll take a mile kind of kid. As a result,
consistency is the key with Grifyn. In that respect, this behavior system has worked VERY WELL with Grifyn.
Grifyn struggles with transitions, with less structured times (like PE) and with transferring behavioral expectations to non-familiar adults (like, he has to realize that he has to mind the new OT just like he has to mind his teacher…the rules don’t change when the grown-up does). He’s also a follower. He’s easily led astray when other children make bad choices. His urge to be impulsive and be a clown also surfaces whenever he thinks he can get a way with it. He DOES enjoy being in the classroom and doing what the other kids do. He just has to occasionally “test the waters” to make sure that the rules and boundaries haven’t changed. Again,
Grifyn knows that HE is responsible for his behavioral choices and that he, and he alone, experiences the rewards or the consequences for those choices.
Grifyn does NOT use a straight face in his behavior system because he requires a clear “line in the sand”….you either act right or you don’t. There can be no blurring lines with him.
HIs chart has been modified a couple of times this year so that it’s more accurate with the times of day/his schedule. This is especially important because with Grifyn, we DO see patterns to his behavior.
This was his chart at the beginning of his 1st grade year. It’s broken down into group activities and seat work, so that again, specific behaviors vs. time of day/type of activity can be charted:
Then it became obvious that it needed to be more specific and include transitional times and have a space to write in information (like, did he transition well from lunch to the hall bathroom and then back to the classroom). Grifyn’s schedule also varies depending on the day of the week (if he goes to therapy, resource, specials, etc).
Here is a blank version with the happy/sad face that can be used to fill in the child’s schedule. Grifyn’s current sheet actually has his daily schedule typed in. It also helps us to keep up with what days he has therapy at school (speech and OT) and also when he goes to the resource room. Here's the blank template:
It has room out to the side for the teacher or aide to write a brief explanation if there is a red face or to write a quick note about something good or a change in schedule or whatever. Also, since consistency is key with Grifyn, if he did get in trouble at school, the punishment given at school is listed too (time-out in the classroom, missed time at PE, etc).
Here is an example of how these charts put the responsibility on the child and transfer to each part of their day: Grifyn has had issues in PE. There are 3 classes in there at once and it can be quite chaotic when there are 3 classes in one gym doing 3 different things (I went and observed one day and I have a whole new level of respect for elementary PE coaches). The beauty of this behavior chart is that since GRIYN is responsible for his own behavior (and chart), this easily carried over into PE. Grifyn went to PE with the daily chart inside a large Ziplock freezer bag with a red crayon and a green crayon. He gave it to his coach when he arrived to PE. When PE was over, he and his coach determined which face should be colored in and it was done while he was still “in PE”. This way, it was very clear to Grifyn (who has issues with transferring skills) that the red/green face was for what he did/didn’t do during PE. This also helped with the transferring authority issue that Grifyn has (having to understand that he must obey ALL adults in authority and not just his classroom teacher).
Again, just to reiterate, the boys DO receive natural consequences at school, in addition to the behavior chart (time out, sitting out during PE, removal from desired activities, etc). The behavior chart is so that there is a carry-over to home….and consequences are also given at home for making bad choices at school.
**********************************************************************************XANDER:
Xander is a completely different situation from the other boys. Xander is in a self-contained class. Xander’s needs and his goals at school are drastically different from Grifyn and Kullen. In Xander’s class, the teacher uses
a behavior chart that focuses on 3 targeted behaviors that impact his ability to learn.
This behavior chart means absolutely nothing to Xander, as he feels no empathy or remorse for negative behavior choices. We ARE working with Xander on making good choices and being accountable for his own behavior. He DOES have consequences for bad choices too. But, he does not at all transfer any of that to a behavior chart.
In Xander’s case, the behavior chart is used to document/track his targeted behaviors. Again, we can use this to see any patterns with his behavior (is it related to time of day, a specific activity, etc). We can also track consistency throughout the week, as Xander does tend to cycle with his behavior (which is one of the biggest mysteries with him, still).
Currently, his chart is also being used to track his bathroom schedule (in the comment section), as we’re attempting to schedule train him for toileting. So, the chart is used to document when he’s taken to the rest room, if he goes while in there and if he was wet/dry when he went.
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Again, these are the things that we use that work for our boys and the way that we parent and focus on behavior. We believe that it’s very important for our children to be responsible for their own behaviors and to be held to the same standard of behavior as other children. We’ve dealt with some unique behaviors and a whole lot of
unlearning in regards to behavior with our boys due to their backgrounds. These charts have been excellent tools in keeping the school-to-home communication open, in carrying over behavioral expectations between school and home and most of all, in emphasizing to our boys that
they are in charge of their own behavior.
I will say that the best part of my day on school days is when the boys climb in the van and proudly say,
“I had a green day!”
